Word-Of-the-Week #875: Tolerate
May 13, 2021 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #875: Tolerate
Tolerate – put up with something or somebody unpleasant.
How often do you find yourself putting up with something or somebody being unpleasant? How do you deal with it? Do you retreat or address the situation or person?
This word has been on my mind because I realized that I have been tolerating behavior that just doesn’t make me feel good. I was raised on the Golden Rule and repeatedly told by my mother “you treat people the way you want to be treated.”
As I have said in the past, “I think the pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in people.” And it has made me seriously think about all the relationships in my life and decide which one’s make me feel good and which one’s don’t.
The ones that make me feel good are the ones that are mutually rewarding and gratifying. Where each person values the relationship, the experiences we share, and is filled with love and caring thoughts. I find myself gravitating to the people who mirror those same behaviors. And just not wanting to be around those that do not.
Are you able to distance yourself from and ignore unpleasant people? Have you ever tried to “kill someone with kindness?” The “Shock Factor” works wonders and one I have used a lot. One of my favorite lines is, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day” when someone says something that’s not kind or feels hurtful. And lastly it is easier to change your behavior than to try and change someone else’s behavior!
This wikiHow post has a lot of good ways to deal with somebody unpleasant, so they don’t make your life unpleasant. All I can say is the older I get the less and less I want to tolerate anything. Life is just too short!
This week’s focus is on what you’re willing to tolerate or not. Have you noticed any persistent patterns of behavior that don’t feel good to you? Are you clear about what your personal values and boundaries are? How comfortable are you in expressing those feelings?
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Word-Of-the-Week #672: Tolerate
June 22, 2017 by Susan Clarke · Comments Off on Word-Of-the-Week #672: Tolerate
Tolerate – put up with something or somebody unpleasant.
How often do you find yourself putting up with something or somebody being unpleasant? How do you deal with it? Do you retreat or address the situation or person?
This week’s WOW comes from long time subscriber Kim regarding a past WOW on Respect. She wrote, “This week’s word really hit home. I work in a small office and there is a young lady that pretty much offends everyone because she is disrespectful.
She is pleasant enough most of the time, but she is condescending and if anything is wrong, it is never any fault of her own. People have to work out a way to avoid dealing with her, instead of just doing their work and engaging in a normal way.
It IS exhausting, and frustrating that everyone feels like they have to give in to her because she has no shame, and they want to avoid a confrontation. She even jokes sometimes at how much of a bitch she is, which isn’t funny to anyone.
When confronted though, just like a school yard bully, she backs down, but the energy to do that is taxing. The easiest way I have found is to address it as it comes. I have worked with her for 6 years, and within the first few months of her employment, I told her that I wasn’t going to engage in immature spats of “WHATever” and “FINE, we’ll do it YOUR way” and other such nonsensical responses.
I couldn’t stand the eye rolling, and her not making eye contact when having a conversation, so I asked my employer to remove me from joint projects with her. He wasn’t happy, but as we have downsized and he finds himself having to do more and more projects with her, he calls me and complains about her attitude and disrespect.
It is a real shame as she is intelligent, but people smile and tolerate her, mostly now out of pity, because she is 31 years old now, and there really isn’t anything endearing about her.
She is a hard worker and very thorough, too bad it isn’t nice to work with her because she doesn’t have: Respect – to show consideration for; treat courteously or kindly.”
All I can say is the older I get the less and less I tolerate. Life is just too short! This week’s focus is on finding a way to deal with somebody unpleasant so they don’t make your life unpleasant. Are you able to distance yourself from and ignore disrespectful people? Have you ever tried to “kill someone with kindness?” The “Shock Factor” works wonders and one I have used a lot. And lastly it is easier to change your behavior than to try and change someone else’s behavior!
I LOVE feedback! Join my Facebook community on my FUN-damentals Fan Page.