WOW Word-Of-the-Week #399: Regret
March 27, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Leave a Comment
Regret – a feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.
Do you wish anything in your life were different? Do you have any unfulfilled dreams? Do you ever feel disappointed about choices you have or have not made?
Bill Marvin, the Restaurant Doctor, recently featured excerpts from Bronnie Ware’s book, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.” In his weekly House Call he wrote, “An article like this may seem a bit out of place, but the reason I do what I do is to help improve your quality of life. Some of that is professional and some — like this piece — is more personal. Her observations really had me reflecting on my own habits (particularly #2) and I’m making some adjustments while I still can.”
I am going to share the five most common regrets in my next three WOW’s
Bronnie Ware says, “For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
This week’s focus is on regret. Is it time to make some adjustments? Are you living your life based on someone else’s expectations? What would it take for you to fulfill those dreams you have put off?
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #398: Resentment
March 22, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Leave a Comment
Resentment – anger, bitterness, or ill will.
Have you had an emotionally disturbing experience that you seem to keep reliving in your mind? Do you have a habit of accepting negative treatment without voicing any protest? Do you feel that your achievements go unrecognized, while others succeed without working as hard?
Once again I received one of S T E V E ‘ S….3 – M I N U T E…. C O A C H I N G emails and thought it was very profound. He writes, “What an experience resentment is. A roller coaster ride of emotions. A depletion of energy. An internal journey to….where?
We’re all familiar with anger. It’s loud, clear, and easily felt. Getting on top of, and handling, anger is a well-known life improver. Resentment is subtler than anger and its presence is frequently overlooked.
The essence of resentment is that it is totally an ‘inside job.’ No matter what happens on the outside — what ‘they’ do — when you are 
experiencing resentment it is by your own hand. This may seem a harsh assessment to you, but think about it for a moment.
Feeling resentment means you are sitting in judgment, tapping into your deepest internal programming about what you think is right and wrong, and are choosing (sure, it’s unconscious, but it’s a choice nonetheless) to experience a physical and emotional reaction. The cost of the feeling of resentment is thus totally borne by you. The outer world changes not at all.
The good news is that when you become conscious of experiencing resentment you become at choice as to whether you want to continue to pay the price. Simple awareness can lead to you letting go of resentment. It serves no useful purpose to keep it.
Coaching Point: Do you resent hearing this?
Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.
Interestingly I found this on Wikipedia, “Robert C. Solomon, a professor of continental philosophy at the University of Texas at Austin, places resentment on the same line-continuum with contempt and anger. According to him, the differences between the three emotions are as follows: resentment is directed towards higher-status individuals, anger is directed towards equal-status individuals and contempt is directed towards lower-status individuals.”
This week’s focus is on resentment. Do you ever feel used or taken advantage of by others? Are you harboring any ill will for someone? Did you know that resentment does not have any direct negative effects on the person resented? If it serves no useful purpose to keep it, wouldn’t it be easy for you to let go of your resentment?
Reader Responses
“Forgive to be free. Forget you have forgiven to be freer.” – Bob
FUN-travel: South America: Regent 7 Seas Cruise – 22 Days – Amazon River to Devils Island, French Guiana
March 16, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Leave a Comment
Day 36 – Saturday, March 10 – Amazon River to Atlantic Ocean – Sunrise 6:24 – Sunset 6:30 – socked in w/clouds & rain
Really, Really Good Day!
Devil's Island
- 8:00 – wake up to cup of really, really hot cappuccino in room courtesy of my love
- 8:30 – down to deck 6 for more cappuccino
- 9:55 – breakfast of fresh fruit on Veranda
- Good News – 10:15 – sun breaks through!
- Lunch 12:30 – Officers BBQ – they grill & serve their favorite dishes – lots of very different ethnic dishes
- 1:00 – ice carving demonstration on pool deck
- 1:15 – swim in the Amazon w/new cruise mate friends Katie & Phillip – LOL!
Swimming in the Amazon - LOL
- 2:30 – Wine Tasting – Napa Valley – 2 Sauvignon Blancs & 2 Cabernets – Sequoia Grove is fabulous (we were there in December 2011)
- 3:30 – back to room for siesta
- 7:30 – happy hour @ favorite lounge deck 6
- Dinner – 8:00 – Signatures – another great meal! (clearly this & Prime 7 much better quality)
- 9:30 – Main Theater – Liar’s Club – consists of a 4 passenger team guessing if the 4 crew member team is lying or telling the truth – pretty good entertainment
Prison Ruins
FF (FUN-fact) – More than one-third of all species in the world live in the Amazon Rainforest. And the area stretches more than 2,100,000 square miles.
More FF – The Amazon Basin, the largest in the world, covers about 30% of South America and almost as large as the continental US.
Day 37 – Sunday, March 11 – Devil’s Island, French Guiana – Sunrise 6:36 – Sunset 6:44 – full on sun – humid, high 80′s
- 7:30 – wake up to cup of really, really hot cappuccino in room courtesy of my love
- Bad News – arrive at 8 am instead of 1 pm due to medical emergency
- Good News – able to shift into “planned spontaneity mode”
- 8:00 – down to deck 6 for more cappuccino
- 9:00 – sit & wait for tender to Island
Egret
- 9:30 – arrive – nice walk around island takes 2 hrs – see prison ruins, church, children’s cemetery - see monkey, peacocks, pig & funny little rodent called agoutis (looks like reddish guinea pig on stilts)
- Lunch – Caribbean BBQ – thank god for the pizzeria!
- Bad News – Chris starts sneezing & coughing
- Good News – take siesta
- 7:00 – happy hour @ favorite lounge deck 6
- Dinner – La Veranda – French Bistro again – getting a bit boring
FF – Devil’s Island is one of three small islands clustered together lying 6-miles off the coast of French Guiana. The group is collectively known as the Salvation Islands. Royale Island was the home of one of the most infamous prisons in history. The movie Papillon was based on the story of the only prisoner that escaped. The almost in-accessible Devil’s Island held political prisoners.
FUN-travel: South America: Regent 7 Seas Cruise – 22 Days – Amazon River – Parintins & Santarem, Brazil
March 16, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Leave a Comment
Day 34 – Thursday March 8 – Amazon River – Parintins, Brazil – Sunrise 6:54 – Sunset 7:01 – clouds & sun, hot, humid, high 80′s
Really Good Day!
Boi Bumba Folk Show
- 7:30 – wake up to cup of really, really hot cappuccino in room courtesy of my love
- 8:00 – down to deck 6 for more cappuccino
- 9:55 – breakfast of fresh fruit on Veranda
- Bad News – didn’t book only tour of day & no more tickets
- 11:00 Lunch – Amazon fish BBQ on deck – biggest fresh water fishes have ever seen
- Good News – 3 tickets are available
- Excursion – 12:50 – Boi Bumba Folk Show – fabulous show w/elements of theater & circus w/drumming, singing, dancing – elaborate costumes & floats
- Short walk through very small town
- Bad News – over priced street vendors not willing to deal
- 4:15 – happy hour on pool deck
- 6:30 – pre dinner cocktails @ favorite bar deck 6
- Dinner – La Veranda for more French Bistro
FF (FUN-fact) – The annual Boi Bumba Folkloric Festival held in June last three days and is the biggest celebration in Amazonas and the second largest festival in Brazil after Rio’s Carnaval.
Parintins
More FF - The scales from the fish make great finger nail files.
Day 35 – Friday, March 9 – Amazon River – Santarem, Brazil – Sunrise 6:46 – Sunset 6:52 – hot, humid, clouds
- Bad News – early wake up 7 am
- Good News – really, really hot cappuccino in room courtesy of my love
- Excursion – 8:35 – River Tour & Eco Maica Lake
- Depart 9 am – from dock in small boats – takes 45 min to get to lake – see houses along shore & birds – stop for Piranha fishing
- Bad News – I don’t catch one, but other passenger does
- Arrive dock – 12:40 pm
- Bad News – ship departs 1 pm & wanted to shop
- Good News – local vendors @ end of pier – willing to deal – power shop & get great present for friend
- Good News – 12:50 back on board
- Lunch – Kebabs & Souvlakis on pool deck
Santarem
- 2:30 – Nap
- 6:30 – Happy Hour
- Dinner – 7:00 – new cruise mate friends Katie & Phillip get reservation to Signatures – the other fine dining restaurant – French & VG!
FF – For much of its path, the Amazon River can be as much as one to six miles wide! During flood seasons, the Amazon River can be much, much wider; some report it is more than 20 miles wide in certain places.
More FF – Piranhas may be the smallest of the river monsters to roam the world’s fresh waters, but don’t be fooled by their size. The mouth of a piranha, no matter how tiny, is packed with sharp, triangular teeth that are tailor-made for puncturing and tearing the flesh of prey. This fish, working in large packs, can strip away meat down to the bone in a matter of minutes. Locals in the Amazon region often use piranha teeth to make tools and weapons.
WOW Word-Of-the-Week #397: Hakuna Matata
March 16, 2012 by Susan Clarke · Leave a Comment
Hakuna Matata – a Swahili phrase that is literally translated as “There are no worries.” It is sometimes translated as “no worries,” although is more commonly used similarly to the English phrase “no problem.”
Do you spend time dwelling on the past? Do you worry about things that haven’t happened yet? Are you fully living in the present?
In 1994 the Walt Disney Studios animated movie The Lion King brought the phrase international recognition, featuring it prominently in the plot and devoting a song to it. A meerkat and a warthog, named Timon and Pumbaa respectively, teach the main character, a lion cub named Simba, that he should forget his troubled past and live in the present.
Timon and Pumbaa
Have you heard the saying, “It is what it is?” Some things are just simply out of our control. And I have learned to not let that affect me. Another saying I have referenced before is, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why we call it the present.”
One of the responses that I am hearing from service personnel more often is, “No Worries.” Especially when we were in Canada and the UK.
One of the things that I like about traveling is that I am totally focused on everything around me and am living “in the present.” The same applies for when I am playing golf. All I think about is hitting that stupid little ball!
This week’s focus is on having “no problems.” Have you ever said, “Hakuna Matata when a problem arose? Did you handle the situation differently? How would it feel to be able to say, “no problem” or “no worries” and mean it?
Reader Responses
“Hakuna Matata is a phrase that I have tried to impart to my daughters. But at age three and 10, everything revolves around them, whether it be home life, school or friends. So, they will worry about very small things, including whether a friend or friends will talk to them the next day at school. On these occasions, especially before my 10-year-old goes to bed at night, I will let her know that by tomorrow her friends will have forgotten about whatever spat had taken place. So, don’t worry about it. As I have matured during my lifetime, I have learned to accept what life presents me each day and enjoy each day as it comes. Over the past five days I have been dealing with a sinus infection, which has kept me in bed. Yesterday morning I was still sleeping at 10 a.m. when my three-year-old starts banging on my mattress demanding to be taken to the park. I had a great laugh as I looked at her and she started laughing. Obviously, she thought it was very funny. I told her that after I had breakfast and showered that I would take her. So, we went to the park for about an hour. She just did not want to get off that swing. I enjoyed that time with Emma and extended the moment. It was beautiful enjoying that time in the present, even though I was still under the weather. I did the same thing with her on Saturday. She had a great time. As I have told friends of mine, these are the best times of our lives. And I am enjoying them. So, whatever happens tomorrow, happens. I am enjoying the here and now. And it is a beautiful thing. Enjoy the Madness, Susan. Take care.” – “Warrior” Joe